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Chapter 259: Brother, Youre Wrong! (2 / 2)
Chapter 259: Brother, Youre Wrong! (2 / 2)
The first test papers were being distributed by the armed guards. Some candidates immediately unrolled their paper and began writing, while others clutched their brushes, deep in thought.
From the tower above, the overseeing examiners—Xu Yanmiao included—had a clear view of everything happening below.
“So it’s true. From the platform, you really can see everything clearly,” Xu Yanmiao muttered to himself.
The Minister of War looked at him in confusion. “What are you talking about? What platform?”
Xu Yanmiao waved his hand dismissively. “Nothing, just talking to myself.” He continued curiously watching below.
But this time, he stayed silent.
[I’m just thinking to myself—no way anyone can hear me, right?]
“It’s here!!!”
A little farther from the examination hall, a group of officials had sneakily taken over someone’s house. With enough silver, the owner happily moved to an inn for the time being.
The house had hibiscus flowers growing at the gate, forming a dense hedge that conveniently blocked outside views.“All thanks to Little Baize! Before the gates were locked, who could’ve known what was happening inside the exam hall?”
“Exactly, exactly!”
“My cousin is in there—I’m so worried.”
“Tch, don’t worry. My eldest grandson is also inside. They’re all grown men. They can take care of themselves.”
[HAHAHAHAHAHA! Who is this?! It’s only been half an hour since the exam started, and he’s already run to the latrine three times! HAHAHA!]
[The poor guy sitting next to the latrines is suffering. He’s about to pass out from the smell.]
[Who eats spicy hotpot the night before the hui shi? Of course, you’re going to have diarrhea!]
[Oh-ho! His grandfather is a Deputy Minister at the Guanglu Temple? That makes this even worse! The Guanglu Temple is in charge of the imperial banquets and palace meals, yet they let their own grandson eat hotpot the night before the exam?! And spicy hotpot at that?!]
[Oh… sorry, Deputy Minister Wan, I wrongly accused you. You even forbade him from eating his favorite pepper-salt crackers, afraid it would upset his stomach. Who could’ve predicted he’d sneak out and climb over the wall to eat hotpot?]
The Deputy Minister of Guanglu Temple, who had just confidently said, “They’re all grown men. They can take care of themselves,” downed a cup of wine in frustration and growled, “Eat, eat, eat! All he knows is eating! He might as well just die in that exam hall from diarrhea!”
The official next to him—Langzhong of the Ministry of Personnel’s Examination Office—let out a sympathetic sigh. Thank goodness my cousin isn’t greedy for food.
After thinking for a moment, he decided to console his colleague.
“Deputy Minister Wan, well… young people love food. At least this is a learning experience. He can try again in three years—he’ll surely pass then!”
Deputy Minister Wan let out a long sigh, his brows deeply furrowed. “But he’s already twenty-seven! Forget twenty-seven, when I was seven, my mother was in confinement, and I was the one washing clothes, cooking, and making fires at home. I already knew that if I ate something bad, I wouldn’t be able to do my chores.”
The Langzhong swallowed back the words, “That’s because your family raised you like a wooden log to be beaten into shape, while his family raised him like a precious golden treasure. How can it be the same?” Instead, he simply patted Deputy Minister Wan on the shoulder, hoping he would accept his fate.
[Huh? Why is someone sneaking a smile in the exam hall? What did they see?]
[Oh wow! Someone actually fell for the traps ‘Hotel Fierce Dog’ and ‘Pharmacy Flying Dragon’? I didn’t even come up with obscure ones. Minister Li even suggested including ‘Lord’s Wife Desires Goods’—if I hadn’t vetoed it, half the candidates would have been tricked!]
[Laughing like that… don’t tell me he thinks those two idioms are about aphrodisiacs?]
[He really does!]
“Hahahahahaha—”
The Langzhong of the Ministry of Personnel’s Examination Office pounded the Deputy Minister of Guanglu Temple’s shoulder, laughing uncontrollably. “Sir Xu and the Minister of War are too mischievous, deliberately coming up with questions like this. If someone gets them wrong and later becomes our colleague, I’ll be able to laugh at him for life.”
Another official was also doubled over with laughter. “‘Pharmacy Flying Dragon’ is one thing. It does appear in Yuefu Poems, but it’s indeed uncommon. But ‘Hotel Fierce Dog’ is from Yan Zi Chun Qiu! How in the world did he associate it with aphrodisiacs?”
The Deputy Minister of Guanglu Temple finally shifted his attention away from his grandson and gave a subtle smile. “I suppose even the phrase ‘A lord’s dog is fierce; a man carries a vessel and enters’ could be twisted into some other meaning.”
The Langzhong of the Examination Office burst out laughing. “Twisted into what? Don’t tell me—‘A man carries a vessel, fierce like a male dog’?”
[How tragic. And he’s from my own department too. This poor Langzhong spent three whole months—three months!—reviewing with his cousin, only for his cousin to give him this grand surprise. Hahahahaha! He actually thought ‘Hotel Fierce Dog’ meant a man taking medicine and going wild like a raging dog in an inn—hahahahahaha!]
The Langzhong’s laughter suddenly stopped. “Bang, bang, bang—” He started banging his head against a pillar.
The other officials quickly grabbed him. “It’s not worth it! It’s not worth it!”
The Langzhong struggled desperately. “Let me go! Just let me die! Three months! I tutored him for three months! ‘Hotel Fierce Dog’ simply means that a fierce dog guarding an inn scared off all the customers, causing the wine to sit and turn sour. Such a basic allusion—how could he forget it?!”
“I—I—I might as well just die! Wuuu—”
The other officials hurried to console him. “Calm down, calm down. If he forgot this one, maybe he remembered the others?”
The Langzhong wiped his tears. “That’s true…”
[Hahahahahaha—]
[How did he think ‘Mèimèi w? s? zh?’ (Dimly, I ponder it) was a case of phonetic substitution between ‘?’ (mèi, dim) and ‘?’ (mèi, younger sister)?!]
[‘Little sister, I miss you’—hahahahahaha!]
[Big brother, you got it wrong~]
The Langzhong: “……”
The Langzhong: “……”
The Langzhong: “……”
And then, with a wail—he burst into tears.