This Isn’t an E*otic Game?

Chapter 14

I headed back into the slums, and a long line of people followed behind me.

I figured that the most useless, filthiest piece of land in the capital would naturally be found in the slums.

As soon as I entered, a massive crowd began trailing after me.

“Saint!! Saint!! Please heal me!!”

“Grant me your grace, Saint!!”

Too many people were following me. If this kept up, wasn’t there a chance I’d get arrested for leading an illegal assembly?

Fuck.

I quickly scanned the slums and found the dirtiest, most worthless piece of land I could dream of.

Crumbling, collapsing buildings and shabby, abandoned factories.

A bleak, forsaken patch of land littered with industrial waste and trash, the kind of place no one would step foot in even if you paid them.

It was the sort of place where you’d expect drug addicts snorting white powder in some dingy corner.

I didn’t know shit about feng shui, but living here?

It felt like it could spontaneously create a cursed destiny that would lead to utter ruin.

Absolutely perfect!!

If I could cause massive damage to the Lilia Church, they’d spit curses at me and run away!!

As I was about to step onto the grounds of the abandoned factory, dragging the huge crowd behind me, a man who looked like a security guard approached.

“You can’t go any further! This is Karma family property!”

The old guard’s eyes were cloudy, and he didn’t seem to recognize me.

I slowly approached him and placed my hand on his head.

[Activate Body Modification skill!]

It wasn’t until I restored the old man’s eyesight, cured his arthritis, and fixed everything else wrong with him that he recognized me, and his body stiffened.

“Can you see now?”

“I-I can see! I can see it clearly! Saint!!”

“Go fetch the owner of this land.”

“Y-Yes! I’ll do it right away!!”

The guard ran off faster than anyone would expect from his age and soon returned with an older middle-aged man.

And the middle-aged man?

He looked exactly like fucking Scrooge.

The kind of bastard who’d bleed gold coins instead of blood if you stabbed him. His face was harsh, his expression hard, and he radiated the aura of a greedy, miserly asshole.

He approached me with the guard at his side, his face twisted in suspicion.

“I’m the owner of this factory. Did you want to see me?”

“Yes.”

“What do you want? If you’re asking me to let those beggars in here, you can forget it.”

I shook my head at his words.

“Sell me this factory lot. I’ll pay you a fair price.”

At my words, the factory owner burst into laughter.

“Fine, I’ll give you credit for your boldness. You’ve heard the rumors, haven’t you? I built a doll factory here, but it failed miserably. But do you even have the capital to buy a factory lot this big?”

I shook my head.

No, I didn’t.

The only money I had was what I’d earned working part-time in a restaurant.

Even if I pooled all of it together, there was no way I could afford to buy this lot.

“The Lilia Church will buy it.”

Of course, the church would pay.

The Lilia Church is one of the largest religious organizations in the empire.

No matter how ridiculously expensive this land is, they can afford it.

I glanced at the High Priest.

The High Priest looked back at me.

His expression seemed to scream: “Are you seriously going to build a temple on this pile of garbage??”

Exactly.

That’s the point.

I wanted them to spend money on something doomed to fail, cause damage to the church, and, on top of that, waste so much money so recklessly that they’d get sick of me and leave.

“Spend all the church’s money if you must, but buy this land. This place is absolutely essential to fulfilling the Goddess’s words.”

That’s the excuse I came up with.

Of course, I didn’t know jack shit about the Goddess’s words or anything like that.

I was buying it simply because it looked like the most worthless piece of land in the slums.

If we poured all our money and manpower into this place, built a grand, luxurious temple, and I did nothing saintly while living a life of daily debauchery, it would all fall apart on its own, wouldn’t it?

“...Very well. If it is the Goddess’s will.”

The High Priest stepped forward.

He approached Scrooge—no, Jonathan Karma.

“I am Yodel, the High Priest of the Lilia Church.”

“Jonathan Karma. I’ll tell you this because I’ve tried building a factory here on the cheap: aside from the fact that the land is laughably cheap for the capital, there’s nothing good about it. I don’t know what you’re trying to do with this place, but it’s not going to work. I guarantee it.”

“This is what the Goddess has commanded. We must purchase it.”

Scrooge—no, Jonathan Karma—looked at us with an expression that screamed, “What the fuck is wrong with these idiots?” before gesturing for us to follow him.

“Fine. Follow me. Let’s draft the contract at my house. Honestly, I’m glad to get rid of this useless piece of land that’s done nothing but cost me taxes!!”

And so, we headed to Jonathan’s house.

***

The factory owner, Jonathan Karma, wasn’t living in some grand, luxurious mansion as I’d expected. Instead, his home was a shabby little house on the outskirts of the slums.

He wasn’t quite destitute enough to be sleeping on the streets like the homeless, but judging by the state of his house, he wasn’t far from being a poor man with a roof over his head.

“Honey, you’re home?”

As we stepped into his house, a gaunt, sickly woman—presumably his wife—greeted him with a weak cough.

Jonathan looked at her and immediately started yelling.

“What the hell are you crawling out for, you useless bitch? Get your ass back in bed!!”

“I just wanted to make you something to eat…”

“Make me food? With what?! There’s nothing to eat in this goddamn house! Get back in bed, you worthless hag who’s nothing but a drain on my money!!”

The way he barked at her made him look like a textbook abusive husband.

It wasn’t hard to piece the situation together.

He probably tried to run a business by setting up a factory, but it clearly failed.

And as a result, his family relationships had completely fallen apart.

Jonathan’s wife coughed weakly as she shuffled back into the room.

The room reeked of sour mold, and the stifling smell of decay lingered, a sign that it hadn’t been ventilated properly in ages.

Even the High Priest, standing beside me, wrinkled his nose slightly at the strong odor.

“Alright. I’m asking for no less than 40,000 salled. That’s my price!”

Jonathan bellowed.

At his words, the High Priest’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“You’re asking for 40,000 salled for that run-down piece of land?”

“Damn right!”

“You’re telling me you’re demanding that price after seeing all the trash and industrial waste scattered across the factory lot?”

“Don’t like it? Then forget it!! 40,000 salled, take it or leave it!!”

It was an absurdly inflated price for a piece of garbage land.

But it didn’t matter to me.

The church would be footing the bill anyway.

My whole goal was to make them waste money on a worthless plot of land and regret ever supporting me.

The High Priest seemed to hesitate for a moment.

But then he glanced at me, and his expression softened into one of faith and determination.

“Fine. I will contact the Lilia Church temples across the empire. For such a large amount, we will need approval from the other regional temples, so please give us some time.”

“Tomorrow! Bring the money by tomorrow, or there’s no deal!”

Jonathan’s demand made the High Priest’s expression twist even further.

“Even for us, that is impossible. Please grant us a little more time. The amount you’re asking for is substantial, and we need time to prepare it…”

“No time, no deal!! Get out!!”

The way he barked those words made even me want to punch him in the face.

If it were me in the High Priest’s position, I’d have either cursed him out or walked away. But perhaps out of deference to me, the so-called “saint,” the High Priest managed to keep his composure.

“Let us step outside to discuss this.”

The High Priest led me outside the house.

“Saint, these terms are unreasonable. Not only is the asking price ridiculously high, but we would also have to bear the cost of dealing with all the trash and industrial waste. On top of that, he’s demanding the money by tomorrow, which is simply impossible. I advise against proceeding with this transaction.”

“We have to do it.”

After all, I was already committed to making the Lilia Church suffer financial losses. If I didn’t go through with this, how else would I get them to curse me and abandon me?

“…If that is your wish, I will obey. However, as per church policy, any expenditure over 10,000 salled requires approval from all regional temples. Even so, there’s no way we can gather the money by tomorrow. We will need more time, Saint.”

High Priest Yodel looked at me with an expression of deep regret and shame.

His words made even someone as selfish as me feel a pang of guilt.

I was only doing this to survive, but these were innocent, well-meaning people who had suddenly decided to revere me as a saint.

And here I was, trying to cause them harm while also indulging Scrooge’s ridiculous demands.

“I’ll take care of it.”

Even a bastard like me, who’d long since worn out his conscience, knew this was my responsibility. After all, it was my idiocy that had gotten us into this mess in the first place.

“I’m sorry for disappointing you with my incompetence.”

Goddamn it.

Seeing High Priest Yodel bow apologetically to me, a con artist trying to scam the church to avoid divine punishment, made guilt rise up inside me like a flood.

I couldn’t even look him in the eye. Instead, I quickly ducked back into the house.

I said I’d take care of it, but I had no clue how to make Scrooge agree to give us more time to gather the money.

Should I just use Absolute Hypnosis to force him to listen? Should I?

No.

If Scrooge suddenly starts acting kind to me without any proper buildup, it doesn’t seem holy—it seems deeply suspicious.

That would disgrace the name of the Goddess, leading to divine punishment, and worse, the Lilia Church might begin to suspect me of heresy and burn me at the stake.

How…

How can I say something that will get Scrooge to give me more time to gather the money?

As I climbed the stairs to Jonathan Karma’s house with these thoughts in my head, a scream suddenly rang out, followed by the sound of a struggle.

“Aaaaaah!”

Hearing the desperate cry, I quickened my pace and headed toward the source of the sound.

Entering the house, I saw people staring in shock at the center of the room.

“Rofus! The Sun! It’s Rot Plague!”

“You’ve been hiding a plague victim in the capital? That’s illegal! Jonathan Karma!”

The knights and police of the Sun Order shouted in horror.

Pushing past them into the room, I saw Jonathan Karma and his wife frantically blocking people from approaching, amidst the increasingly nauseating stench of rot and mold.

“Don’t come near! Stay away from my daughter!”

“Our daughter can get better! Even Rot Plague can be cured! We’ve been giving her medicine to suppress the contagion! There’s no problem with her being here! Please!”

Scrooge’s expression had completely crumbled, nothing like it had been moments ago.

The sight of Scrooge flailing his arms to protect his daughter, while Mrs. Scrooge clung to the girl and wept, was utterly pitiful.

And it was no wonder.

The daughter they were trying to protect was horrifically disfigured, her entire body ravaged by disease.

Is this what leprosy feels like?

Her swollen skin oozed black pus continuously.

Her condition was so dire it was a miracle she was even alive.

In that state, she writhed and thrashed in pain.

“It hurts! It hurts! Kill me! Please, just kill me!”

The girl screamed and cried hysterically.

The police watching the scene couldn’t take it any longer and drew their pistols.

“Jonathan Karma! You’re under arrest for illegally harboring a contagious plague victim in the capital! Step away from your daughter immediately—Saint! Saint! Don’t do this!”

I slowly lowered the police officers’ pistols.

Then I turned to Jonathan Karma and his wife.

“Don’t come near me! Don’t come near my daughter! She’s my daughter! I won’t abandon her!”

He screamed, but unlike moments ago, he didn’t seem threatening at all.

Now, he just looked like a pitiful old man—sick, broken, and crushed by reality.

“I don’t believe in saints who heal! Do you have any idea how many frauds like you I’ve met? My property! My money! Do you know how much they stole from me, all while claiming they could cure my daughter? You’re just like them! Stay away from me, you goddamn conman! You son of a bitch!”

Jonathan Karma swung his fist at me.

The punch landed squarely, and blood started pouring from my nose.

“Saint!”

“That son of a bitch hit the Saint!!...”

The knights began to draw their swords, but I stopped them.

I wiped my nose and silently looked at Jonathan Karma and his wife.

“Please, step aside.”

My plan had been to squeeze as much money as possible out of the Lilia Church, causing them significant losses…

But now, things had changed.

Look at this girl writhing in pain.

Even someone as selfish as me couldn’t stand by and let someone I could help suffer like this.

Besides, if I cured her, it might buy me more time to gather the money.

Even though I was bleeding from my nose, my expression didn’t change. Perhaps that unsettled Jonathan and his wife, because they hesitated, trembling, and stepped back.

I approached the thrashing girl.

“It hurts! It hurts! Kill me! Aaaaaah!”

The girl cried, screamed, and convulsed hysterically.

I gently placed my hand on her head.

The matchstick-selling girls in the back alleys.

And now this girl.

Whatever my circumstances, let’s set them aside for a moment.

This is just too pitiful.

“It’s okay.”

I activated my skill.

“You won’t hurt anymore.”

With a soft cracking sound, the girl’s body began to change.