I Became the Drug-Addicted Childhood Friend

Chapter 68

"This is... troublesome..."

Shihu looks at the hand gripping the collar.

The situation with Seo Ah being in a broken state makes it even worse.

"I’m fine."

Seo Ah smiles.

"Fine...?"

"We can stay together like this. You won’t leave me behind now, right? Hmm?"

"Of course, I won’t leave you. I was just thinking it might be uncomfortable if I keep holding onto the leash."

"If you let go, I’ll die."

The words are unsettling in a strange way.

But to some extent, it’s true.

If her magic isn't restrained, Seo Ah would be devoured by a dragon.

There’s no thought of letting go.

But maybe it would be more comfortable to hold the leash in a different way.

"...Ah, maybe it’d be okay if I just hook it on my wrist."

Shihu ties the leash around his left wrist.

It’s a good thing he can still use both hands.

The leash is two meters long.

Seo Ah is standing right next to him.

There’s a strange chemical smell in the air.

"You won’t leave me, right?"

Seo Ah quietly asks.

"Where would I go?"

"The Academy."

"Ah."

He wasn’t planning on going anyway.

Perhaps Seo Ah is worried about that, and that’s why she wants the leash.

"If I leave you here by yourself, you’ll really die, won’t you?"

"I’m not leaving."

"Hehe."

There’s no need to go to the Academy anymore.

Probably never again.

"I’m not going to the Academy."

"Are you planning to go anywhere else?"

"To somewhere safer."

"Safer?"

"We should move to another city."

Shihu has already found a good place.

For Seo Ah.

"A trip?"

"Yeah. But I’m not ready yet. There are still things I need to take care of."

"You can prepare slowly."

Seo Ah tries to reassure him.

"I wish I could do that... but I can’t stay in this place for long."

It’s a problem because it’s a facility previously used by government agencies.

It was partially buried in the ground and then repaired.

It was fine when used occasionally as a prison, but staying here long-term is risky.

"So?"

"I think I need to go alone for now."

"...Where to?"

"To several places. There’s a lot to do before I can move."

"Let’s go together."

As much as he would like to, staying undetected is the priority.

The Academy might be looking for Shihu.

There would be problems if he drags Seo Ah around with the leash.

"I’ll go and come back as quickly as I can."

If he had known this would happen, he should have waited to put the leash on.

"You were thinking that again, weren’t you?"

"Huh?"

"The thought that you want to leave me. I can feel it."

"No, that’s wrong."

He’s never thought of such a thing.

It’s a dilemma.

He has to stay with Seo Ah, but he can’t stay with her constantly.

It’s a danger zone.

This facility is close to the city.

"You said you would protect me."

Seo Ah says, her voice on the verge of tears.

She clutches Shihu’s sleeve.

It seems she’s losing control of her emotions.

"Let’s go together, together, together? Hmm?"

Her extreme anxiety is showing.

It’s not an unusual situation.

"I want to, but if we stay like this, we’ll both be in danger."

"We’ve always been in danger. You just want to make it dangerous for me, right? Don’t you?"

"No."

"If you leave me, I’ll really die."

It’s a valid threat.

Shihu doesn’t want Seo Ah to die.

If it were the old Seo Ah, she wouldn’t have made such a threat.

Because she would be scared Shihu might actually tell her to die.

But now, whether she likes it or not, she knows the truth.

Shihu doesn’t want her to die.

"Don’t leave me."

"I’ll never leave you. But we can’t stay like this. I’m trying to find a better solution."

"Don’t leave me..."

"It’s okay. I won’t go. When you’re okay, just let me know."

They’re in the hallway of the facility where the solitary room is located.

He sits Seo Ah down on a chair in the hallway and sits beside her.

He has time to calm her down.

But he can’t stay with her forever.

What’s the best solution?

Locking her in the modified solitary room?

He doesn’t want to treat her like a monster.

Even if he locks her up, Seo Ah might not remember.

Would that be okay? He’s not sure.

Sometimes, decisive actions are necessary.

If he hopes for a future, he must endure the pain of the present.

"...Let’s just stay here."

Would that be the best choice?

The thought crosses Shihu’s mind.

"Let’s just stay here."

It would be nice to be with Seo Ah.

It’s always been that way.

Seo Ah rests her head on his shoulder.

At this point, he can’t get up.

"He."

Seo Ah laughs.

A slight happiness is felt.

Ah.

Maybe it’s best to stay like this.

This is the conclusion Shihu comes to.

What should they do next?

The plan is like this.

First, destroy everything that guarantees their identity.

From the Academy student ID to the school uniform.

And even the citizenship card they received at that time.

Everything, including their phone, will be destroyed.

Money is kept in a way that avoids being monitored.

Then, they’ll change their identity.

The goal is to escape to a safe place and live quietly.

Escape.

Is running away without fighting the right thing to do?

As long as there’s something to protect, one cannot blame someone for running away.

—Shihu, without you, there will be a gap in our forces. If you were here, there would be people we could save, but also people we couldn’t.

This is something Cheon Yuhwa said after Shihu’s announcement.

But after thinking it over, he realizes that trying to save the world when he can’t even protect one friend is arrogant.

And is saving people really a good thing?

Is it the right thing to do?

Even if it’s not wrong, it’s not something worth obsessing over.

In the end, the people who are going to die will die.

And if the people he saved turn out to be like doctors, then that’s troublesome too.

It’s better to let things flow as they will.

"...I don’t care anymore."

Shihu mutters.

Seo Ah is already asleep.

She’s resting her head on his shoulder.

***

When I opened my eyes, I was alone.

Had they locked me in the room again while I was asleep?

I don’t understand.

"...Please...? Please. Why...?"

But that can’t be true.

They couldn’t have just left me.

I’ll die if they do.

"Why did you leave me?"

We were supposed to stay together.

That was the plan.

The objects around me look distorted.

They’re still, yet they move erratically.

It’s clear—I’ve lost it.

Even just hearing these awkward words, I can tell.

No, I don’t even know what I said.

—Shihu, I’m okay.

Had I said that?

—I’ll stay in the room for now. So hurry back.

Why didn’t I just say we should stay together?

I feel calm being with Shihu.

It was the wrong choice, though.

"...Hehe, he."

When will I go back to being normal?

I need some medicine.

"Ah. Shihu?"

You're there, right?

Yes.

"...No, I’m not."

I’m losing it.

I hate myself.

[Inactive]

But Shihu said he could leave, so…

I don’t even know what’s different from the monster transport.

But this is Shihu’s mercy.

Taking care of a childhood friend who’s somewhat like a monster.

Remember the novel’s content.

Try to remember what happens after this.

But now, there’s no answer.

Shihu in the novel wouldn’t have done this.

At this point, Shihu was already a perfect individual.

He was complete.

He understood the hidden schemes his allies didn’t know about and destroyed them.

The heroines all liked Shihu.

Everyone respected him.

"Because of me, Shihu..."

It’s not just Shihu who’s in trouble.

If things had gone as they were supposed to, those who would’ve been close to Shihu are now distant because of me.

Because of me.

It’s all my fault.

I should never have started reading this stupid novel from the beginning.

Wasn’t it too harsh on the protagonist’s childhood friend?

I think I had that question back then too.

"I must have done something wrong."

That’s why I’m suffering.

But it’s not just suffering.

There was a certain pleasure, an immense pleasure, that only a few in a lifetime might experience.

I never wanted it.

I just feel sorry for Shihu.

"I need to help Shihu."

But how can I help him?

Look at what’s left for me.

There’s nothing.

"How should I help?"

I need something to give him.

Something he would like.

What could that be?

Let me think.

What does Shihu want from me?

"I only have my body."

I have nothing.

It’s all borrowed.

"..."

There must be something.

Something I can give Shihu.

I’ll apologize for ruining his life.

"My body?"

It’s a mess.

Covered in scribbles, making it worse.

I remember Shihu getting angry.

Asking if I’m selling my body.

So, what Shihu really wants is...

"...Really? Does he want my body? Could that be it?"

I’m jumping to conclusions here.

But if Shihu comes back, I’ll ask him.

I’ll ask him clearly what he really wants.

Shihu isn’t the type to enjoy indulgence.

He had plenty of heroines.

But there’s no real indulgence I can offer him.

"I don’t want that..."

How could I?

I can’t just use my body recklessly.

But rather than going back to the testing facility...

"I don’t want to..."

The pain I feel now, after the medicine has worn off, is worse.

If the pain gets too much, eventually, you have no choice but to give in.

What should I say when Shihu comes?

My head is spinning.

I feel like I’m in a nightmare.

I think I hear researchers.

Is all of this a dream?

Or am I really on a testing table?

I’m shaking.

I need the medicine.

Medicine.

Something’s coming closer.

There’s something in the dark.

I know it’s a hallucination, but it’s not.

I hear the voice of a researcher right next to me.

If Shihu were here, I’d at least feel a little safer.

But no one’s here.

Why did I let Shihu go outside?

I hear a disgusting voice.

A hateful laugh.

I see people laughing at me.

"Ah, ahaha..."

I try to laugh.

It’s a habit.

I did it because they say happiness comes when you smile.

Calm down.

There’s nothing.

No one can hurt me.

But then, I hear it again.

The sound of a surgical knife falling on a metal tray.

Ah.

I keep hearing murmuring voices.

Even when I block my ears, I still hear them.

Please.

Please save me.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Please, I need the medicine.

I’ll do anything.