I Became the Drug-Addicted Childhood Friend

Chapter 59

“Let’s go home. Together.”

My hand touches his, but nothing happens.  
Isn’t he a researcher?  
I want to go home too.  
But that right has been stripped from me.

“Can I go home...?”  

“Of course.”

“I don’t even know where home is.”

How will I find it?

“Let’s go together.”

So kind.  
He smiles at me.

“Shihu will be disappointed.”

“He won’t be.”

“I’m not a good person.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

He only says what sounds nice.  
Thank you.

“I tried to hide the drugs, but I got caught…”

“That’s not your fault. It’s okay.”

This isn’t something I wanted.  

“Yeah, because it’s not my fault.”  

No, I wanted it.  
If I hadn’t craved it, I wouldn’t have sunk so deep into the drugs.  
Hundreds, thousands of doses.

“It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault! No, I didn’t want this.”

Even if I wasn’t dragged into the lab, I would’ve crawled there myself and begged for the drugs.  
Even if they granted me freedom, if I needed the drugs, I’d live like a worm for it.

“I couldn’t help it. There was no other way. It wasn’t because I enjoyed it. It just happened. Don’t blame me. If it weren’t for that, it would’ve been worse. What I did was better. What’s so bad about enjoying it a little?”

Anyway, I did it because I wanted to.  
If I really hated it, I shouldn’t have done it.  
Drugs.

“Hahaha, if you were in that situation, you’d have done the same. I was in pain, trying to get treatment.”

But I was happy.  
With every dose, the pleasure came, and I didn’t feel much pain.  
So I got something out of it.  
I didn’t lose, I wasn’t a victim.  
Anyway, I felt good.

“That’s… how it was…”

It’s like drowning, but drowning in chocolate.  
Anyway, it was sweet.  
It tasted good.

“It’s not your fault.”

“…”

Even hearing those words, deep inside, I feel the opposite.  
It is my fault.  
It’s not just my fault, but it’s still mine.

So, I’ll pay my debts.  
Then I’ll have served my punishment.

“So let’s go together. To my home.”

Who are you to say that?  
Finally, I pay attention to the person in front of me.

“…Shihu?”

“Yeah. Do you recognize me?”

“Is it really you?”

“Yes.”

His expression lightens.  
It’s Shihu.  
Then… what should I do?

I need to ask the most important question.

“Where is Seo Ah?”

“…What are you talking about?”

You should know, we were close.  
Wait, this is strange.  
Since when did we live apart?

“Seo Ah? She’s probably at home. Eating apples, I guess. Must be delicious.”

She’s not a combatant.  
She wouldn’t come out to fight.  
She was never made to be a fighter.

“Seo Ah?”

Shihu looks confused.  
I’m the one who should be confused.  
Does he think I’m Seo Ah?  
I must’ve introduced myself, right?

“Seo Ah. Everything will be fine. I can heal you. So…”

“Seo Ah? I’m the drug-preserved tuna can. The expiration date is…”

**[10%]**

“10% expired. Hehe. But 90% is still fresh. The drug must be the preservative, right?”

It feels like my brain is melting.

I love tuna cans.

If I lift my shirt, there will still be scars.  
This one, and several others.  
There’s also a list of errands.

“I said I don’t like vegetables, but why do I keep running errands? I told you I don’t eat that stuff. Why do I have to buy it? Why are the memos always missing?”

Why?

I don’t know the reason.

“…Sorry. I… like this…”

What is he saying?  
I can’t understand.  
Speak louder.

“It’ll be okay. We can go back to how things were.”

Back then?  
I don’t want to go back to the lab.  
Even if science advances with my sacrifice, I won’t go.

“So, let’s go together.”

I’m not going.

- Ah, the results of this experiment… Actually, there’s no need to record it. It’s just out of curiosity to see how long they can hold out.

- Even in that state, their will is still intact.

I refuse.

- It’s not willpower. It’s just a reflex.

- Must be a good feeling. Soaked in drugs.

Pleasure seems to arise in places where it shouldn’t.  
Just because I feel good doesn’t mean the fear is gone.

- Increase the dosage to double the previous amount.

And there’s nothing I remember.  
Scattered, strange memories rise.  
I’m too scared to look back at them.

But they keep forcing their way through.  
A little further back into the past.

- For a monster, they’re very human-like.

- This?

- Looking at their actions, they are indeed a monster.

“Step back, Shihu. It’s a monster.”

I stop the flashback.  
A girl with blue hair appears.  
A cold chill stretches toward me.

“She just looks like your friend. Don’t be deceived by appearances.”

“Cheon Yuhwa, I told you not to come. I’ll handle this.”

Cheon Yuhwa.  
Cheon Yuhwa?  
I’ve seen her at the academy.  
Was it at the entrance ceremony?

“This is more dangerous than the monster that attacked our car.”

She points at me.  
Seems there’s some misunderstanding.  
I’m not dangerous.

“You’ll see too. With this amount of magical power… you’ll be designated as a target for extermination. Anyone other than someone like me would have a hard time killing you.”

Kill me?  
Who?  
Why?  
For fun?  
I understand.  
It’s possible.  
But I won’t die.

“I won’t kill you. Seo Ah will be fine-”

Because tuna cans are inanimate.  
It’s just that a living thing was inside.

“Shihu. I didn’t expect you to be so weak. Even with a monster right in front of you… Those eyes show that you’re not human.”

“Yeah, I’m a tuna can!”

Can a can be human?

“…Huh?”

Cheon Yuhwa tilts her head slightly.

“You don’t belong here. Step back. This is the last time I’ll say this nicely.”

Shihu warns me.

“You’re out of your mind. You think that’s your friend?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know your situation well. But, without proper explanation, I can’t leave this alive. If we don’t exterminate the monster now, the damage will get worse-”

“Seo Ah is not a monster. It’s not her fault that she turned out like this.”

The argument continues.

“Black magic, like something from a dungeon’s deep monsters. How can you claim she’s human? Even if she was human once, no one could change this much. Sorry for messing with your emotions, but this is the truth.”

“So, are you going to attack?”

“If you can’t persuade me, that might be the only option. Right now, all I see is someone bringing a monster and claiming it’s human.”

“You shouldn’t always believe what you see.”

The atmosphere grows tense.  
Are we about to fight?  
Normally, I’d expect Shihu to win.  
But Shihu looks battered and exhausted.

“If I’m not mistaken, you were just in a fight. With this. But suddenly, your attitude has changed. I suspect you’ve been mentally manipulated.”

Shihu fought with this?  
When?  
I only attacked the researcher.  
But when did Shihu get here?  
I’m not sure.

No, I should know by now.  
Let’s think this through.

There was definitely a researcher in front of me.  
The researcher was where Shihu is now.

- I suspect you’ve been mentally manipulated.

Mental manipulation.  
Twisted thoughts.  
Hallucinations and voices.

I close my eyes.  
And when I open them, the hallucinations should fade.

I open my eyes.  
I see strange teal-colored surgical room lights.

“Ah, uh…”

No.  
This isn’t right.  
This is bad, bad, bad.

I close my eyes and open them again.  
Still the white room.  
The operating room.

“Ah…?”

This must be a joke.  
I was just with Shihu.  
I was just outside.  
Please.  

I close my eyes again.  
And open them.  

Am I in a hospital?  
No, no, no.  
I’ve never been to a hospital.  
I’m not sick.

“Seo Ah?”

Someone grabs my arm.  
What are you doing?  
What are you doing?

Damn it, damn it, damn it.  
This must be a dream.  
It has to be.  
Say it’s a dream.  
This isn’t real.  
Shihu will wake me up.  
It’s morning.  
The sunlight will come through.

I close my eyes and open them.  
I’m back on the ground.  
My head is spinning, but I can clearly see the shining metal.

“G-get the knife away.”

Is that really a knife?

  
No, it’s a toy.  
Yeah, a toy.  
Plastic. It’s plastic.  
It’s the one Shihu and Seo Ah used to play with.  
No, no, it can’t be touching my stomach.  
It doesn’t hurt. It can’t hurt.  
This is a dream. Right? It’s a dream.

“Hey, I used drugs so it shouldn’t hurt…”

It doesn’t hurt.

Don’t use a knife.  
You’re trying to kill me.  
I’m not a monster.  
I’m not.  

“No, heheh, heh…”

I said it hundreds of times, but no one listened.

“I’m not a monster…”

Even if I say it, no one believes me.  
I won’t have anyone on my side.  
Mostly hostile or neutral at best.

“Ugh…”

I’m all alone.  
A piece of trash, an idiot.  
It’s pitiful.

“…”

And the truth is, I am a monster.  
If everyone else calls me a monster, then that’s what I am.  
And I see myself as one too.  
I think it’s time I accepted it.

I saw it in a novel, a dragon appears as a mid-boss.  
After Shihu catches it, his level goes up a lot.  
He gets good items too.

“I…”

Who am I?  
Logically, a tuna can can’t be alive.  
A tuna can can’t move.

“Monster…”

It’s not bad.  
I’m already doomed. I’ll just die and give some experience.

“If I die, will a good item drop?”

“Maybe…”

If I’m going to do it, I’d prefer something cool.  
A dragon should do.

“Yeah.”

Then let’s fight!  
I’m going to fight.

Drugs, make me a sword.  
I’m going to wield a weapon.  
I’m a sophisticated monster.

Preparing to attack.  
Ready.  
Ready…

I raise the sword and aim at the enemy.  
Who is my enemy?

My vision is blurry.  

But honestly, I don’t want to fight.

I want to go home.

Home.

There’s no comfortable bed, but I’d be content just lying on the floor.  
Let’s eat something delicious.  
There’s no TV, but I can read books.  
Would you make something delicious for me?  
No, I’ll make it.

Delicious food... I only know how to make scrambled eggs or ramen, but I’ll make it.  
I want to eat at home.  
With a friend.

A friend.  
I’m not a monster.  
I have a friend.  
I’m still a person.

Monsters don’t have homes, but tuna cans do.  
Am I a tuna can?

Anyway, I have a home.

I don’t like vegetables.  
But I like ramen with vegetables.  
I’ll cook for you.

You’ve probably never seen a monster cook.

“Hey…”

**Clink.**

I drop the knife on the ground.  
I don’t need weapons.

“Want some ramen? Let’s go home.”

My vision is blurry, but I know who’s in front of me.  
Shihu.  
I barely remembered.  
My memories are a mess, but I still believe he’s a friend.

“I’ll cook for you…”

I hesitantly open my arms.  
Maybe a gesture to embrace me.  
Maybe it’s just a gesture of welcome.

Let’s make up.